The rules of Cake Wednesday may be strict, but they are the foundations on which our religion is able to flourish. The full translation of the Book of Rules would fill many, many pages of a mere website such as this. Due to this fact, we have chosen to include the 10 Cakey Commandments, as set out by the Lord Gah-T'oh, plus a series of random excerpts from the Book.

The 10 Cakey Commandments:
1. I am Gah-T'oh. Thou shalt have no other baked goods before me - neither the biscuit nor the shortbread.
2. Covet thy neighbours cake. Ask for a slice.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Lord Gah-T'oh in vain.
4. Remember the Cakey day, and keep it tasty.
5. Honour thy Stomach and thy Spoon.
6. Thou shalt not throw Cake in the bin, unless it hath changed colour.
7. Thou shalt not enjoy healthy snacks on a Wednesday.
8. Thou shalt not steal Cake from one another.
9. Thou shalt not insult Cake or a Cake-bringer on their day of ascension.
10. Thou shalt not repeat any Cake offering within two calender weeks.


Excerpt from the Book of Rules:
'Ye shalt organise thyselves into a powerful sect, and this sect shalt be dedicating to the procurement and enjoyment of Cake, and verily this must needs be done on a Wednesday, for ‘tis a shitty day. Around the third hour after midday shalt ye provide Cake for thy colleagues, and they shalt tuck in and give thanks to Gah-T’oh our Lord. And then next week someone else shalt provide a Cake, but a slightly different one to last week. He who neglects to provide Cake on the Day of Cake when it is his turn shalt be expelled from thy sect and possibly even teased. And be ye warned that failure to provide a tin of Holy Custard shalt be met with jeers and cries of “wazzock, wazzock, wazzock.” For this mid-week baked-goods event shalt be revered above all days- even Darts Friday and Bank Holiday Monday. And lo this day shalt be known as Cake Wednesday.'